heh. the world is not that blue afterall =]

i'm recovering well. i really am!

okay i'm so going to ground myself at home for the days when i have nothing on.
i've been having way too much fun that it went out of control.
like my body clock is totally wrecked.

ima club with cindy later on tonight, i was totally puzzled.
like " who clubs on a tuesday night? "

so i quickly text cindy and said " hey cindy, like i dont think there'll be alot of people on a tuesday night? "
and she went " ouh, its a public holiday tomorrow "
i replied " wait, children's day only apply to primary sch kids? "
she replied " edmund!!! it's hari raya !!!! "

totally got me for 5 seconds!
tahahahaha.
events coming up.
8-9 SL CAMP.
10-11-12 CHALET WITH TA04.

somehow, when your social life gets fun, you really miss the times where you can just lie in bed and rot at home.

life's a contradiction.
its not life.
it's us.
humans are.

dick's birthday celebration

meet dick the dickhead!

along with his fellow musketeers
dick went " BERNICE, why you drink so much alcohol"
we started doing sillystuffs. bernice with that korean bun.
dick being the dickhead is showing off his pubic hair
i didnt wanted to do it, they forced me to.
bernice, stop being so horny!

"i need my a lipstick that can make my man go UGHHH" they were all effectively dead but i was high on caffeine

right.
talking about results.
i'm contented with it.

i was rather amused when no slight sense of disappointment was present when i took a glance at my results slip.
my gpa's 3.8+ and i'm contented already because i only studied at the eleventh hour, well probably not, what i meant was, i didnt placed in enough effort this semester as compared to the previous 2 semesters.

in any other way, no. i'm not staying in singapore to do my degree. i'll be going overseas to do it so seriously, i can't be bothered if there are any 4 pointers who are boasting infront of my presence.

like i said, it takes a whole deal to make me feel envious. so try harder. tsk!

some of my friends would have known that i got shingle-d and it's making me very depressed. LUCKILY it's no where near my face. tsktsktsk. i'm nowhere near the road to recovery but i'm still fighting against it like a warrior! ( hopefully, it wont be a warrior turn pimp ). pardon me, i'm really lethargised by all these medications i'm taking in 6 times a day...


thank you, mom

i know you care, i know you do.
i know that it hurts you.

you must be feeling lousy that you aren't able to do anything to make me feel better.
it doesn't matter.
it does not.

what i know matter is, you are my most beloved woman by a veryvery long mile.

-end-

oh no.

i've consulted the doct. on some red rashes that broke out when i was in china. gooodie. screw that place.

apparently, it's a viral infection under the same range as chickenpox but as i already had chickenpox before, nope. im not going to be having that.

but the red rashes are disgustingly disturbing.
and to curb that, im gonna need to take tablets 6 times a day and wooohooo, no more alcohol! no more alcohol. no more alcohol for the time being.

but wait, it wasn't caused by alcohol intoxication. it was passed on to me by some faggots who has the virus and probably due to my low body immune system, i got the damn irritating virus.
dang.

. should i .
. should i not.
. should i .
. should i not.
. should i .
. should i not .

all i have to say is that, a good english conversationalist really really turns me on.
wait, that's not the main point.

hahaha! sometimes i wonder, why why why don't they feel disgusted with what they are doing and even worse. what they are wearing.

nevermind,
ppl go vogue glamour, they go vogue shitheads.
whatever you do, just dont try too hard. please.

i am meeting my dentist later.
YES! FINALLY.
he will be saving me from the world's greatest disaster.
the food in china is really outstanding
my braces broke with the bracket coming off.
how cool is that. like totally!

then ill probably cab off to town to meet up with the fellow ambassadors.
now i'm getting sleepy. oh no.

tum-te-dum..
it's 2.33am and im still awake. i should be sleeping!

hurhur.
i'm back from cheeeena-shanghai.
the really memorables about this trip, isn't about shopping, no. it's not that.
what's really memorable is knowing the fellow stuents and lecturers who went.

prior to the trip, i had no idea or rather, little knowledge of the people from the other semester. well, now i know.

talking about my new class for god knows why. i mean. ahhhh. ( im just about to scream my lungs out and cough some bloood out )

cheenas cheenas cheenas cheenas no more. please!

for a moment.

for a moment, i thought i was really bidding you guys goodbye for good.

i thought i was gone for good.

if you haven't figured out, i got into a car accident last night at around 12am - 1 am in the midst of celebrating cindy's and wesley's memorable birthday. so much for a memorable one.



it was raining the whole night and god.

obviously the road was wet and slippery i suppose.

we had 2 cars with us and both cars got crashed. In addition, an indian man's car, got smacked right at the ass too.



wesley and cindy was in their own car while i was in y.chong's car.

holy crap. i have no idea why y.chong suddenly wanted to overtake wesley's car just before a cornering and y.chong managed to overtake wesley's car and we were on the middle lane... then the car just got out of control!!!!


it started skiing on the road! HOLY CRAP. at that moment, i didnt know what happened, i could just hear w.bin shouting out to y.chong " What are you doing? ". The car skiied to the right and it smashed right into an indian's man car and that car turned 180 degrees all the way to the front.


wesley and cindy saw what was going on and they stopped the car at some distance behind us.


AND NO. it didnt stop there. the momentum of the car i was sitting in was still going on STRONG. It spinned another 360 degrees all the way to the back, towards the direction of wesley's car. HOLY CRAP. I TELL YOU. I was at a loss for words. I WAS SPEECHLESS.



everything happened in just a swift. I have to thank god though. fucking fucking shit. I have no idea why i persisted on putting on a seatbelt even though i was at the back seat!!! everything just flew everything, my spectacles which was supposed to be on my face flew right below the front seat! everything in my bag was scattered!



and the most bizzare thing was, i have a necklace with a catholic pendant. the miraculous thing was, the necklace did not break. it was intact but the pendant DISAPPEARED!!!! i searched everywhere but i couldn't find it. CRAP. ( I can't buy it anymore, it was given to me at the international catholic conference) CRAP, it was one that i loved very much.



nevermind. i really have to thank god, thank god. all 5 of us are safe, with no serious injuries though i suffered from some bruises at my hip and back due to the impactful knockings. SERIOUSLY AH. at that moment, I was thinking " HOLY CRAP. AM I STILL IN A DRAMA OR WHAT. " . no wait, i couldnt even think straight. all i knew was that something was flowing out of my nose profusely, thankfully it wasn't blood!!! it was water from i dont know where.


I lost my life once but am thankful to be given another. those who have nothing to do and claims that they want to die should seriously experience what we went through. fucking shit no, i do not want to die. do you know how we felt when the car was spinning like nobodys business ? we thought we were going to die. seriously.



we were trembling when we got out of the car. i had to be told to get off the car cause i was in too much of a shock. i was just thinking " am i finished? " ...

thank god, the invention of seatbelts really saved our sorry asses. ALL 5 of us had seatbelts on.


we were thankful for that indian man's car as that knock against his car actually reduced the momentum by quite a bit already before we smashed right into wesley's car. can you imagine if the indie's car did not pass by & a full impact smash was hit onto wesley's car?

I guess i wouldn't be here typing this entry, with much unfinished.
apparently i told my mom and not my dad for fear that he would flare up. sigh.
right. i think i better put up some pictures but just one because it isn't a sight too sightly.
i am not in a position to comment much but i am just glad that no one was injured. seriously.


fuck. i cannot die ! i have yet written my will. my last words to my parents and sister and all my friends, buddies and everything. now, i'm viewing life from a very different pov. don't waste it, it's precious.

i know.

i know this isn't a time for me to play emo-peeko but i just can't help but feel that way.
puffs after puffs, drinks after drinks. no. it doesnt fill me up. i feel void deep within. ( i really do )

i doubt i'll ever dare to cross the line.
that very fine line.
what i need now is someone to hold my hands and take me across that line, together.

i once came across this quote which i thought it as meaningful, much.

a ship will always be safe by the jetty with the anchor rooted firmly on the seabed.
that ship has nothing to worry about. no harsh currents with thunderstorms, no whirlpool, no nothing.

but ask yourself.
is that why ships are being built?
that they are meant to be parked all day long by the jetty?
no. they are meant to set sail, brave through whatever comes their way.

i know my ship's built but it has yet to set sail.
i'm so much in need of a sailor right now. ahh!

right, enough of all these emoelmo typings.

i have some videos to share with you guys which i thought it as seriously amusing. you have to watch it!


"Charlie Bit My Finger"



" I'm gonna kick his ass"

innocence, much. seriously.
kthxbye.

Youth Leaders Academy @ the loft.

seriously speaking. YLA is simply the best camp by the furthest mile. you get to sleep in well-furnished apartments ( other than a missing television ), there are clean bathrooms but sad fact was, i was there playing the role of an ambassador and not a camper.

I brought my camera along to camwhore just incase my campers bore me out but they didn't! they displayed an awesome feat of leadership skills which i've learnt from them (vice-versa)
seriously, spartans from yla3 are by a far mile, my favourite bunch of campers.

their ability to pick themselves up from their lowest lows impressed me so much that i was in a emotional shipwreck when we broke camp on sunday. they even got me bonded with them. i was literally touched. i'm missing them but you know what, there's a outing with em on sunday. seriously, i can't wait to see all of them!!

my favourite picture of the whole camp ( non-contactual shot)
davis.
Thoma!!!!
Mark Keong with e Campers

Joey & Aiman
What despair, What sadness.
Dyon's smile perked me up!
Jessinta! ( thanks for the vid) but she wasn't food deprived. was she?

Even more food deprivation!
Colour Accent.
Feeling hungry? Do what Nikk Does!
benedict & me

mayflower sec?

sherwin & benedict
wait, why them again?
dearest spartans. I love you all!
that's right. I see a leader in each and everyone of you!

aw dang.

spartans from yla3.

thank you all for making such a difference in my life.

thank you all for making me feel rejuvenated even though i had less than 10 hrs of slp for 4d3n duration.

it was your energy that kept me going.

thank you all!

I

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet."

love me for who i am.
how true. how true.

often we are blinded by whats visible to the naked eye.
we trusted our eyes,
we trusted our feelings,
we trusted ourselves,
with no concern that they may all be a lie.

we held on tight to that belief.
we ignored the unpleasants.
we dare not dream, yet
we made them our life divine.
with no reservations that it would all hurt us.

i dare not fathom what's going on.
i dare not confront you.
i dare not imagine of what's happening.
i dare not ask but feel apprehensive.

all that's in my mind is
your glorious smile
your eyes so wide
your nose so implish
your lips so tender.

i only know.
i only know that you matter.
nothing else does.