I guess I was indeed on a blog-hiatus for long enough. This only occured to me when I was reading the wonderful marvels of this crime-fiction book tittled: Out by Natsuo Kirino. I guess my awareness and conciousness whispered to my ears to start writing again. I should honestly start penning down the marvels of my somewhat wonderful and colorful life.

In a nutshell of what's actually going on in my life for the past few months, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. It has been a fruitful three years. Many friendships forged which I hold on to dearly. Many wonderful lecturers who helped me along the way. If there's ever one thing which I am so proud of since 2007, it has to be the big T. my transformation and acceptance. Thinking back on how I denied and controlled my true self, it has got to be the most miserable period of my life. It even made me question my existence. Trust me to not look back anymore. After I finally learnt to accept and embrace my true self, I am undoubtedly a happier man. (Is it too early to use man? If being 20 isn't too early then I guess I do fit the bill!)

So the enlistment letters came, twice!
When I first received the enlistment letter, to report to tekong. I was elated because I'll just be going through what majority of the freshly-shaven boys are going through.

It all came as a shocker yesterday when I received another set of enlistment letter. In this set, it tells me that my postage to tekong has been revoked and I am supposed to be reporting to Pasir Ris Camp instead of Tekong. Lord, am I ever more honoured to receive such orders - in an iniquitous manner. I guess since this is already a done deal, I have to stop bitching and live with it since there isn't any viable options. Actually, there is this one ultimate option but I doubt I'll ever be touching on that.

mmm. I guess this is as far as this entry gets. :)

it has been a month since attachment started.

it's fun but never easy .

I love my workplace!

you know, i longed for peace but i know it's never going to be possible because you played the game disgustingly gross. I'm just going to turn on my ignorance tab. I guess I am immune of it because you're really really one of the worst players.

I do not care if you offend anyone with the kind of games you're playing but just don't cross my line. I may appear to be nonchalant, but I know everything you did. Just don't cross my line. If this is your first time playing this game, this game of life, this game of survival, you'll be fucking disappointed to know that it isn't my first time playing this game. The stakes of this game is just too high, you may end up getting hurt or are you already hurt?

We've all seen you torn and hurt yet all of us felt unyielding about this whole issue. You probably deserve it. but oh well, whatever! I don't wish to talk about this issue any longer. you're just gross. kaythxbye.

heh. on a lighter note. I've decided to continue with Driving Lessons.

I've been procrastinating about driving ever since I passed my Final Theory Test.

I dont even know why I signed up for it! AHHHH, my parents! They were the ones who asked me to take up the Theory Tests and in order to snap their naggings, I did and I passed them. Its about Time. I only have 24 hours a day, it's just so little !

Alright, I am really really really tired because I chatted with mkhoo all the way till 7.10 am this morning until my mom decided to pry open my room!!!! & I managed to con her pretending that I was asleep.

M; you're just a great individual! just freeze the accounts and stop thinking so much.

you don't want to be THE killer. not now.

Dream.

I always had this unrealised dream so whimsical. I have no clue when I'll step out of this comfort zone to chase after this dream. I'm getting fearful here, I dare not, I'm afraid that i'll end up hurting everyone. Then again, we turn to dreams when we cant fit it into our realistic goals. Doesn't it amaze you how human always find means to make ourselves feel better.

Mankind's just weird with questions. Your teacher in school may always say "It's always good to ask. Never stop asking!" Is it really true to question every single thing humans do. That said, I'm talking about questioning motive and purpose.

I simply can't fathom why we humans always have this misconception about people. (I'm not a perfect being, I'm guilty of that too) In my social circle, I think I've seen enough but I guess it's so much that I'm being clouded as to what's genuinely nice and "pretending" to be nice. I really do think I've seen enough. Thus, I always question. I question their purpose and motive.

Is life really that simple. It probably would a century ago when you can see Farmer Edmund plough the field. The world can simply be described as a rat race. Every single one of us has subconciously fallen into this pit of menace and in order for anyone to survive in this ugly pit, we have to play the game. This game probably doesn't just include specific matters, this is a game of life. Don't you think? (I'm looking at this in awe because I very much believe that I've lost touch with blogging but I guess that is suffice for now, I can go on about this vicious circle but I want to stop!)

I'm pretty much excited about attachment that will be happening in just a few days time. I am looking forward to my internship with an open mind. I do not bother about what people say. People can say all they want about my fellow interns but I have decided to not conform to their beliefs. I'll treat this with an open heart and make my own belief.

it's almost 230am.
and i'm glad i took time to blog because examinations has ended. I am really happy because I won't need to sit for anymore papers (for the next 3 years at least, with the inclusion of my national service towards this nation which i friggin' love)

Many people my age would consider their "best" play years a past, but I consider mine ahead. I guess all I wanted to say is : STOP CONFORMITY. HAVE YOUR OWN STAND!

(END)

Happy for you?

No. there are times where you'll be genuinely happy for a friend over his or her success.
Very often, I ask if I'm happy for you as a very good friend. You have climbed the ladders of success and now you're leading one of the most noticeable group.

youve satisfied this whole world by losing yourself and for that, i feel for you and its definitely not happiness. it's something we all call "sadness". I do feel blue for you. If i've stepped in as a capacity of a friend to tell you that you're losing yourself. Would you have listened or turned your back on me. That's something I don't know because I never tried, I would very much like to know.

You've turned yourself into this freak that i really dont know and i do not wish to have anything to do with you in anyway, much less attending your party. Cut me some slack please. I do not wish to entertain you anymore. I was, in the past but for now, I really see no need in doing that. just cut me some slack. I loved you before in that same capacity as a friend but right now, I really wish that you could get out of my life. your texts are pretty disturbing, much less your fucking face and voice.

I would like to say thank you for being a part of my life but honestly, I just can't find it anywhere back there. KAYTHXBYE.

I do not want to drag this entry any further because I have a paper to study for. TAXATION 2 is one hell of a bitch. SERIOUSLY.

hey bitches.

ill try to keep this short.
my attachment placing is at Citibank and somehow, i should be happy but i ain't.
why is that so.

oh well, im just praying that everything turns out fine on tuesday. I'm pretty excited to work for GE but . . . . the details are somehow not finalised.

not happy at all.

screw this.

nobody gets it.
why is that so?????
there are just somedays in life where you just want to be alone.
it's just this phase where you feel that nobody understands you. :(

it's just like the world listening to Whitney Houston while I would just like to plug on my earphones to listen to It's my Life - Bon Jovi. SIGH. Life has been pretty depressing...

I really do need the right ingredients to spice up my life.
I'm working towards achieving balance. B.A.L.A.N.C.E

do you get it?
I doubt so.

a very special friend.

needless to say, I do have this very special friend in life.
her name is geraldina. over dinner earlier, we managed to catch up with each other, updating ourselves to each other and then, it got me thinking how fast time flies. we've been there for each other for SEVEN(7)(SE-VEN) years. it's a really long time to me. There are some friends whom you can forgo while there are some whom you just can't forgo. I'm certain that she belongs in the latter.

It's been seven years. we have came a long way to where we are now. I'm also fucking elated that we're both outshining those who once undermined our capabilities, i'm just glad. Our friendship is nothing but a celebration. really it is. there's one thing im so sure of, without you, i wouldnt have been what i am today. wtihout you i wouldnt dare face this world myself. thank you for making me feel all good about myself. thank you for giving me the greatest pat of courage when i needed one on my shoulder.

I've came up with this theory. . . When thank you is all a friend can say to another friend, that just shows that the other friend has just been wonderful. I dont want to sound mushy right here but tears really filled my eyes as I was reading your card.

okay let's move on, I passed my final theory test which means I can learn driving already, oh wait, not so soon. I still have to attend some crash course. :S sounds like a total waste of time (again)... as if i havent wasted enough time on passing the theory test alone.

& yay. I love my family.
i really do. and I havent been clubbing for a really long time ... so long that clubbing feels weird to me now :( ahhhh. will probably do it soon. . . .like soooon!